-
Posted on May 21, 2012 via with 323 notes
Source: memecollection
-
Zooey Deschanel:Is that rain?Siri:What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-Zooey Deschanel:Let's get tomato soup delivered!Siri:...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.Zooey Deschanel:Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.Siri:Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-Zooey Deschanel:Remind me to clean up.Siri:Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-Zooey Deschanel:Tomorrow.Siri:I'm in hell. This is hell.Zooey Deschanel:Excellent. Today, we're dancing.Siri:I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.Zooey Deschanel:Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."Siri:I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.Zooey Deschanel:*dances*Siri:Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
Posted on May 19, 2012 via AS IN MANCY with 37,910 notes
Source: asinmancy
-
(via memewhore)
Posted on May 17, 2012 via Danger Zone with 652 notes
Source: the-dangerzone
-
(via slimbankshot)
Posted on May 17, 2012 via Forever90s with 13,794 notes
Source: forever90s
-
recognize those numbers? it’s pi! and i’m lonely!
Posted on May 17, 2012 via Hello. I'm Bo. with 188 notes
Source: mynameisboburnham
-
Posted on May 17, 2012 via Phởck My Life with 79 notes
Source: phockmylife
-
Doctor:Are you sexually active?Me:HaMe:HahahahaMe:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAMe:HAHA THAT'S A GOOD ONE.Me:OH MY GOD WHAT IS AIRMe:JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL OH MY GODMe:HahahaMe:Haaa....Me:Whooooooo, that was a good one.Me:No, no I am not.
Posted on May 17, 2012 via My Crazy, Beautiful Life with 87,479 notes
Source: madhattress330
-
When I see something bad happen to the person I hate.
-
(via marshallmathers)
Posted on May 12, 2012 via Marshall Mathers with 712 notes
Source: marshallmathers
-
I create pictures that simulate movement!
